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THE PUPPY

"She keeps repeating it over and over again. We've been back to this shelter at least five times. It has been weeks now since we started all of this," the woman told the volunteer. "What is it she keeps asking for? " she asked. "Puppy size!"

"We have plenty of puppies, if that's what she's looking for."
"I know. We have seen most of them," she said in frustration.
Just then the young child came walking in the office. "Well, did you find one?"
"No, not this time," she said with sadness in her voice.
"Can we come back on the weekend?"
The two women looked at each other, shook their heads and laughed.
"You never know when we will get more dogs.
Unfortunately, there's always a supply," the volunteer said.

The young child took her Mother by the hand and headed to the door. "Don't worry, I bet we'll find one this weekend," the child said. Over the next few days both Mom and Dad had long conversations with her. They both felt she was being too particular. "It's this weekend or we're not looking any more," Dad finally said in frustration.
"We don't want to hear anything more about puppy size either," Mom added.

Sure enough they were the first ones in the shelter on Saturday morning.
By now the young child knew her way around, so she ran right for the section that housed the smaller dogs.
Tired of the routine, Mom sat in the small waiting room at the end of the first row of cages. There was an observation window so you could see the animals during times when visitors weren't permitted. The young girl walked slowly from cage to cage, kneeling periodically to take a closer look. One by one the dogs were brought out and she held each one. One by one she said, "Sorry, you're not the one." It was the last cage on this last day in search of the perfect pup. The volunteer opened the cage door and the child carefully picked up the dog and held it loosely.
This time she it took a little longer.

"Mom, that's it! I found the right puppy! He's the one! I know it!"
she screamed with joy. Mom, startled by all the commotion, came running.
"What? Are you sure? How do you know?" she asked.
"It's the puppy sighs!"

"Yes, it the same size as all the other puppies you held the last weeks," Mom said. "No, not size -- sighs. When I held him in my arms he sighed," she said.
"So?
Don't you remember?
When I asked you one day what love is, you told me love depends on the sighs of your heart. The more you love, the bigger the sighs!"

The two women looked at each other for a moment.
Mom didn't know whether to laugh or cry. As she stooped down to hug her child she did a little of both.
"Mom every time you hold me I sigh.
When you and Daddy come home from work and hug each other you both sigh.
I knew I would find the right puppy if it sighed when I held it in my arms," she said. Then holding the puppy up close to her face she said, "Mom, he loves me. I heard the sighs of his heart."

Joanne, Laura and Joelle
sending you warm and sincere, deep sighs. from my Heart to yours,
Judi

Dearest Mom, Laura and Joelle,
I spent most of the day Weds. calling everyone I know to join in prayer with us for all of you. The children and adults at the Temple where I teach made a special prayer and shouted out Laura's name during the evening service for Refuah Shelemah (a complete recovery) where we add in the name of a Holeh - one who is (Lo 'Alenu) seriously ill. Our prayer hopes God will heal all His people Israel, Amen.

And I know lots of wonderful, caring souls lit candles and prayed for you all as well and will continue to pray. Many people whom I do not know personally, but who care to lift you up and wrap you in love and peace are joining me each minute, building a huge voice to be heard for Laura and Joelle and you, dear lady....close your eyes and listen to feel the sound of a million voices praying for miracles and no more pain.
We love you.
Wen

Our hearts are filled with sorrow at this turn of events. Laura is and always will be a source of great pride for you and Joelle. Her 'next flight' will be one of peace and comfort and she will rest in the Good Shepherd's loving arms. I can't imagine what you are going through but I do feel that gut-wrenching pain and the hole in the heart. Hold your head up high - you and all the docs have done what you can and you know how much Laura loves you and Joelle. You have been so gracious to share your wonderful 'gift' with all the internet friends who have prayed for her. We are all better people for knowing and loving Laura. Rest in her love and grace and it's OK to cry - you can.

Joanne, Our thoughts and prayers are with you now and always. What a difficult time this has and will be. God has a plan for all of us and although we do not like the outcomes, there are reasons for all things. The strength of one family and one child is more than any of us can ever imagine and should be a wake up call for everyone. No family should go through the trail of tears that cancer gives, however it happens far too often. Find strength in your family and friends, and know that a community, country, and state are with you during this tragic time. Remember you and Joelle, and Laura are never alone. There are friends everywhere. Much peace, The crazy tutor

12/19/02

Dear Joanne:
Laura and you and Joelle are in our prayers every day. We'll be
praying especially hard this week. I wish I could be there to hug you
right now. This is all so horrible and unfair that I want to scream
with you - and I am crying as I type this. Laura is a special young
lady. I know that God is watching over her and will be with her
whatever happens. We'll continue praying for a miracle. Friday we're
heading to Florida for about ten days, but we'll check your website
constantly for news. Lots of love and prayers , Anne, Bill and Mara

All our love, prayers and hearts are with all of you....now and always. You are
strong...Joelle and Laura need that strength from you now, as always.
Praying ...praying and begging for peace, no pain and miracles.

Love you,
Wendy , Chuck , Nina and Shosh

You have always been in my prayers. I cannot imagine what you are going through, God be with you all.

12/19/02

Dear Jo, There aren't words to let you know how many prayers we are sending your way...if you want I will jump on the next plane and be there....Our love and prayers are with all three of you now and forever....you are all incredible....Love always, ME

Joanne,

You and Laura and Joelle are never far from my thoughts. I pray that you receive the miracle of life. I am so proud of you as a Mom. You have been there through it all. Laura is very lucky to have you as well as you to have her. You have been blessed with a wonderful daughter. My love to you all.

Pam

Dr. Joanne Santiago, a founding board member of the AFCC, is asking us for prayers. Her oldest daughter Laura age 14 is losing her battle against cancer. We are asking for God's will, peace and comfort.

Joanne, I cannot imagine how hard this is for you and Joelle and Laura.
I Hope you know my Heart is there with you.

Laura is your miracle...
She has been your personal Joy from the moment of her conception.
She has managed to build a legacy of Love and Compassion and Courage that others four times her age have not accomplished. You can be so proud of her, she has shared her Life and her experience with thousands. She has opened the door of awareness within each of us and, in turn, opened our hearts as well, all of us brought together in the name of Love. What greater gift is there?
She is an incredible young woman.

Now its your turn to have Faith and Trust in the Greatest Good. Now it's your turn to have Courage knowing that what will be, will be and what is, just is. Your daughter will never leave you. The Love you have for each other will never diminish. It cannot diminish and that is your Truth. She may very well soon be experiencing Life from another perspective but she will not be gone. Try not to think of this leg of her journey as good-bye. I assure you, it is not. It is merely another turn in the road for her. Laura's legacy is not coming to an end, she is a doer with great determination and she will continue to be heard. I, for one, will be listening.

Thank you for today's note ... thank you for sharing such a difficult message, I know this too was done through the Love in your Heart, draw your strength from that Source. Know I am a willing shoulder to lean on and a warm hand to hold.
My thoughts and prayers are with you always.
From my Heart to yours, with much Love, Judi

To a certain extent, I know how difficult this time is for you, and the feelings you're experiencing. I felt the same when Rob was in the hospital. What amazes me about Laura, as it did with Rob, is that, despite the suffering they go through, they think so much about their loved ones and how the situation affects them. They want so much for us to be comforted.

I pray that all of you find the strength to get through this time, to draw comfort from each other, and to vow to stick together, no matter what. Friends are here for you to call on at any time, especially if you just want company for a while. My heart goes out to all of you.....I wish there was something I could do to make it easier. My prayers, too, are for a miracle in this battle of good against evil. There must be a reason for all that's happening, but I can't seem to find it. No matter what happens, though, Laura will always be here, since she has been such an influence on so many lives. It WILL continue......hoping some peace makes it way into your hearts today.....

My heart breaks for you. I think of you, Laura and Joelle often. Recently a poster was displayed at work asking for participation in a Red Cross blood drive, and there in the group picture was Laura. It made me smile to see her lovely face. I wish you were back in Hartford so we could help you out, but our hearts are with you.

Joanne, I don't know what to say. I pray for a miracle and for God to grant you, Laura and Joelle the strength to face the future. Laura has been an inspiration who has taught of much in the past months. May God Bless and be with you during this time. Love, Laurie

Hi Joanne, Know that you all remain in my thoughts and prayers and we too are hoping for the miracle. Your website says it all. I'm not sure if you are staying in New York or coming back to CCMC but please let me know if there is anything I can do. Please let Laura know I am sending a big hug her way. Hello to Joelle who I know is a great support to her big sister.
Love and prayers,
Mary

We are so very sorry to read your news. We will continue to hope and pray for you and wish the three of you some moments of peace in the days to come.
The Custers

Joanne - praying and loving you all - forever! - It is obvious to me that you, Laura and Joelle are workers of God - so thank you - hugs and kisses to Laura and Joelle for me - Love you - Lisa - and I am here whenever you need me for anything!

My grandmother once told me, when I was very young, that God needs young beautiful flowers for his garden in Heaven. He has asked so much of you, Laura and Joelle, and you have given so much to Him and to all of us who have followed you on this painful journey.

I search for the right words, and cannot find them. I will continue to pray for all of you, for the Lord to bring you peace.

Laura is right you need to be strong for yourself and both of your daughters. They need you more then ever. Pray for grace to get you through this. We have no way of knowing the Lord's will. We just have let go of our fears and trust that he knows best. We just have to ask that the best possible outcome happens, then be strong enough to accept it. Many times we are surprised. I will pray that the Holy Spirit is with you and your family through this crisis. Be strong.

Dearest Joanne,
My thoughts and prayers are with you, Laura and Joelle. I have monitored your journey from a distance and have been so touched by the courage that Laura has demonstrated. One thing I have learned to do is take strength and courage from my kids. Our kids meaning yours and mine are awesome individuals and you have nurtured one fabulous young woman.

We are blessed with these beautiful young woman that we have raised. How did we get so lucky? Did we know what we were doing all along.....?
Love and miracles to you!!!
Mary Moret

What can I possibly say? There is absolutely no way any of us can understand why
things happen the way they do . . . but as I said to you before, certainly Laura has fully lived her 15 years. There are many, many people who might survive to 80 who have not lived at all.

She has changed many lives - and all for the better - and that's been true since we've known her (and I'm sure for the years before that), not since her illness.

You and Joelle must be strong - and enjoy your lives and your relationship as you go forward - it's what Laura would insist upon and what you owe her. You'll never get over this, but you will get used to it . . .

Again, whatever you need - we're here.

All our love to all of you.

Nancy

Joanne,

My prayers and love are with you and the girls. I will continue praying for a special miracle.

My best wishes are with you.

Karen K.

12/19/02
Dear Joanne,
My heart aches for all of you. Isn't it just like Laura to ask you to be strong for Joelle? May God be with all of you at this most difficult time. Please give Laura and Joelle a hug for me. Love, Jane Ellen

Everyday we pray, as does our whole church. God Bless you, all three. Much love, Cathy & family

Dear Joann,

Please feel the love and prayers for Laura, you and Joelle. Our hearts break for you as a mother to watch your precious child slip from you. May God grant you the strength for whatever lies ahead.

Love, Linda Pendergast and family

She is a gift. I love you. God be with you and your beautiful family.
Your friend forever,
Judy

Joanne,

I'm so sorry and so sad to hear Laura is not doing so well. I have not been
to CCMC since probably when I spoke to you on the phone right before you
were to leave to go to NYC, so I have had no idea how rough it has been or
what has been going on. I will pray and pray for all of you, as I have been
doing. If you need anything please don't hesitate to ask. Tell Laura I
love her and to keep strong. Please keep in touch. And please if you need
anything let me know! Love Always, Erin

we love you----our hearts are breaking--give laura our love----our prayers
continue.

darcy, fred and amanda

Dear Joanne, Laura, and Joelle
We are all thinking of you. Sending our prayers and love your way. Wish we were closeby to give all of you a hug.
Love, Debbie

Dear Joanne,

I will be saying Mass on Sunday December 29. at 9:30 a.m. My intentions will be for you and your children.

Pastor Lorraine J. Bouffard
Voices in the Wilderness

Please be assured we are praying, and very hard, that some miracle will occur-life should not have to be this hard for you all-perhaps something wonderful will happen, keep hope and good faith-your friends, the Schweitzers

Joanne.
We are praying for you. This is a difficult time. You will all pull through this somehow. All of us, all your friends and family are by your side at all times trying to give you whatever strength they can. Only wish we could hold you and help you. We keep on praying for a miracle.
Lots of love,
Sushma

Dear Joanne....there are no words to tell you how deeply we hold you in our hearts and prayers. This long and painful journey has brought you to the very essence of the meaning of life and love. You have given us the privilege of sharing, in our own small way, that journey. We continue to do that with many prayers and many tears. How clear and yet how unspeakable your treasure is...and how very, very holy! The Advent Scriptures are replete with messages of hope and promise and peace...they shout out to us over and over...Our God is Near!! Our dearest, deepest prayer is that you and Laura and Joelle will feel His presence break through your pain and sorrow, that the "new day" will dawn that will bring a new healing and wholeness and peace.

Please tell Laura that because of her suffering and courage and faith, there are thousands of people who are now joined in a bond of love and prayer, not only to her and you and Joelle, but even to each other....people who never even met her but now know much more

clearly how important it is to spread that love into the world around us. She is truely making the world a better place. And we all send our Guardian Angels to

guide and comfort her and take the pain away....and Joanne, know that hosts of mothers hold you to their hearts in this time of great pain....and we ask Our Blessed Mother to fold you in her arms and give you her own strength.

Dear Joaane,

My heart is breaking for all of you. Millions of prayers go your way.
Love,
Diane Maxellon

Today Joan Gould and I went to Mass at a very special Chapel to Our Lady of Guadalupe in New Britain, specifically to pray for Laura. We prayed so hard.

During the homily, the priest talked about a song called "God is watching Us". He said the song was pretty, but wrong. He said, "God is not just watching from a distance, He is with us. Jesus is our Emmanuel, and Emmanuel means 'God is with us'! We are never alone because God is with us-- loving us and giving us strength." I think this message was meant for you to hear, too.

Joanne,
My heart is with you & the girls during this most difficult time. Always remember God won't test us beyond what we can bare. In His Word, He offers all of us consolation & love & comfort & peace. Draw ever closer to Him at this time, asking Him for strength & guidence & courage. He will not turn His back on you. Give Laura a kiss for me.
Agape'~
From Darcy & Fred's Montana Friend ---- Elaine.

Joanne,

we pray for a miracle every day , and especially now a miracle of the season. it's known to happen, keep the faith and be strong, as we know you have been for o very long time, give Laura and Joelle a kiss for us. Let me know how the test came out, any news.?

love,
Sue

DEAR JOANNE-YOU DO NOT KNOW ME-I WORK WITH GAIL GIAMPOLO AND HAVE KNOWN HER FOR YEARS-I HAVE HEARD ABOUT LAURA FROM HER AND FROM MY BROTHER AND SISTER IN LAW WHO LIVE IN AVON-I HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING YOUR STORY AND FEEL LIKE I KNOW YOU, LAURA AND JOELLE-I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE ALL TOUCHED ME AND CHANGED MY LIFE BY YOUR COURAGE AND YOUR FAITH-EACH DAY I LOOK AT MY OWN CHILDREN AND WONDER IF I WOULD HAVE THE STRENGTH TO GO THROUGH WHAT YOU AND LAURA AND JOELLE ARE EXPERIENCING. YOU ARE CONSTANTLY IN MY PRAYERS AND I WILL CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR YOU ALL. THANKYOU FOR SHARING YOUR PAIN WITH ALL-KNOW THAT YOU AND LAURA HAVE TOUCHED MY LIFE IN A VERY DEEP AND MEANINGFUL WAY.
I WISH YOU ALL PEACE.
JEANNE AMBROSIO

Dear Joanne,
       Our thoughts and prayers are with all of you right now. As long as Laura is still with us, we will pray for a miracle. I wish there was something else that we could do! I feel helpless, as I know that you do too. I can't imagine going through it with a child of my own. We light a candle every night for you and your family.
Love, Barb
We are all praying for a miracle for you (and for us too) and ask that God grant one to you. Be strong and count upon your friends in anyway that they can be helpful.   Love to all, Don MacKie

I'm sorry we haven't talked in a while. I'll explain at a later time. I do check the site frequently to check how Laura is doing. It seems like just yesterday I was at your house playing with Laura when she was about 3 years old. My heart goes out to you, Joanne.

12/19/02

Dear Joanne, I am at a loss for words. My heart breaks for you and Joelle. Laura has given her very all to over come this dreadful disease ...and she has taught us to love more and to pray more. But now it is time to give her permission to say her good byes and to be free of pain and to rest in the presence of our Lord. Joanne, the world is a better place thanks to Laura and she has given more than most people twice her age. Once our tears are wiped, and we have let go...We have a life to celebrate. Laura will never be far from our thoughts or our hearts. Surrounding you with all my love and prayers.....we wait for you here. Nancy

dear Joanne,
I'm so sad that things aren't going well for you right now. I really feel bad for you. Laura sounds incredibly brave and is preparing for her "next flight" as you called it. be strong...try to anyway. maybe there will be a miracle and if not, she will be in excellent hands. I love you. Nancy

Joanne:
We continue to pray for all of you. Have the comfort to know that so many love and care for you all. We are with you in spirit and in the power of prayer. God bless.
Dick and Janice Kisiel

joanne -
we all send you our love and prayers - always. kisses and hugs for each of you.
be brave for laura.
love, karen, jenny and kimi

dear Joanne - there are no words as you must know but my heart hurts so for you all.
of course, you are all in my prayers and i plan on coming in on the 27th to do the
blood or platelets, which ever is most needed.   both, if it is possible. you know god
is giving you everything you need to get through this.   god bless Laura, she has the
hardest job in all this. and we will never know why.   my love and prayers to you
all during this trying time.   god bless.
much love
jackie g.

My dear friend Joanne, God is with you and your family through people like me and my family. We often think and pray for you all and pray for a miracle for Laura. I cannot know what you are going through, but still fervently hope for a huge change for Laura.
God bless you all,
Marguerite

Just wanted to tell you i am saying a prayer for you, Laura, and Joelle. It has been an endless battle for your family and i so admire your courage, strength, grace, and faith through it all. thank you for reminding me to have faith, even when it is hard to understand the ways in which God works. I will continue to pray and remember Laura's courage.

And what a mom you are. Through this ordeal there has always been such an aura of love and mother/daughter respect.

Our family holds you and Laura and Joelle in our prayers. May these days together hold a lifetime of memories and boundless love and we pray for an end to the pain.